


Let's Delay Our Misery

by stayliving



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 17:25:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stayliving/pseuds/stayliving
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the days that follow what happened during The Break Up, Blaine finds himself completely alone with no one to rely on. Stuck inside his own head and running out of options, he turns to his older brother in hopes that he can say something, anything to ease the weight on his chest. Cooper, in his own way, manages to succeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Delay Our Misery

His thumb shook as it hovered over the name on his contact list, his vision already blurry from how hard he’d been crying. Blaine wasn’t sure if he’d even be able to speak properly, but no one else around him was listening. He needed to talk to someone before he imploded in on himself, leaving nothing behind but the empty shell he already felt he was.

A few more seconds passed as he debated inside his head before he finally brought his thumb down to press the green “call” button.

Every ring felt like a lifetime. His heart thudded loudly in his chest and his blood flow roared in his ears. His head was spinning and he was drowning and he was holding onto the last sliver of sanity he head, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end startled him; it was louder than he was expecting it to be. Blaine heard dance music in the background, and another wave of nausea swept over him as his bottom lip trembled. He knew this was pointless.

“Coop…” he breathed out, his voice breaking as he let out a gut wrenching sob.

“Hang on.”

Blaine bit down on his bottom lip in a vain attempt to keep himself from fully breaking as he listened to the music slowly fade from the background, and suddenly he found himself appreciating his brother in a way he never imagined.

At least someone knew when he needed to be listened to and not brushed off like a fleeting, distant memory.

“What’s up, Squirt?”

The nickname broke him, reminding him of a time that was much easier than this, back when the only pain he knew was not being able to eat ice cream for dinner. He sobbed into the phone for what felt like hours, his breath coming out in short gasps, his free hand tearing at the sweat and tear-damp shirt clinging to his chest in an attempt to grip his heart and rip it from his body.

“Hey, hey. Shh. Calm down. Listen to me. Take a slow, deep breath.”

Blaine tried to do as he was told, his eyes closing as he swallowed back the lump in his throat. He choked on his breath, his lungs still not getting the oxygen they needed. Again. And again. And again.

His fingers brushed through his ungelled hair and he pulled on it as hard as he could, trying to make the physical pain overshadow the emotional and mental pain.

It took a few more attempts, but he finally managed to catch his breath, Cooper’s voice still in his ear as he instructed him to breathe in then out. In and out. In and out.

“I fucked up, Coop,” he finally managed to croak out, his voice shaking and hoarse from how long he’d been sobbing. “I fucked up and I don’t know what to do. He’s not even talking to me anymore; I don’t even know if we’re still together or not. God, how could I have been so stupid? FUCK!”

He screamed into the phone, his free hand tightening into a fist. He had half a mind to punch his wall, but he didn’t want to have to explain the hole it would create to his parents.

“Squirt, I’m sure whatever you did wasn’t that ba—.”

“I CHEATED ON HIM, COOPER.”

The words settled heavily between them, Blaine’s breath beginning to get shallower again as tears pricked at the back of his eyelids.

He heard Cooper take a deep breath and he could practically see the disappointment that had clouded over his face.

“Who was it?”

“Just… Just some random guy who added me on Facebook. God, why does it fucking matter who it was?”

Blaine closed his eyes and fell backwards onto his bed before switching his cellphone to his other hand. He reached down and started picking at some of the frayed threads in his comforter, twisting them tightly around his finger to cut off the circulation.

“Well, let’s look at it this way. It’s not as bad as it could’ve been, right? At least there weren’t feelings involved.”

Blaine stared up at his ceiling for a couple of seconds, all but feeling his blood pressure beginning to rise. He ground his teeth together before hissing, “Stop trying to justify it. Just stop. Okay? It doesn’t matter who it was. I cheated on him and just. Stop.”

“Fine, you want the truth? No sugar coating? Will that make you feel better?”

“Probably not,” Blaine mumbled into the phone, but Cooper either hadn’t heard him or didn’t care.

“I think you’re being a stupid, immature dick who doesn’t deserve Kurt. Is that what you want to hear, hm?”

Blaine seethed, his vision flashing from watery to red in mere seconds.

“Shut up.” His voice was dangerously low, and if Cooper had been in the same room, Blaine knew that he probably would’ve punched him right in his precious nose. Right where it would hurt Cooper the worst, just like he was doing to Blaine now.

“Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP,” his voice became a roar and he was suddenly glad that his parents weren’t around that often. That was one conversation he really didn’t feel like having.

He knew Cooper was right, though, which was what made his words hurt even worse. He didn’t deserve Kurt, and he probably never would be able to make this whole mess up to him. Not like he deserved the chance to try anyway. Things between them hadn’t been perfect since Kurt had moved to New York by any stretch of the imagination, but Blaine had been the one insisted that he follow his dreams and get out of Ohio. Instead of being happy about things finally looking up for the love of his life, he had gone and destroyed everything they had together. It was the only thing he was good at, and it was becoming a pattern. Everything crumbled to shreds beneath his touch and he wasn’t quite sure how much longer he was going to be able to take it. His world was crumbling underneath his feet and it was only a matter of time before it swallowed him whole.

Cooper may have been right, but that didn’t make his words hurt any less, and it didn’t keep Blaine from getting angrier at his brother than he had ever been in his life.

“Oh, I’m sorry, what? You think you actually deserve Kurt? Then prove it. Fucking fight for him and prove it. Don’t sit there and wallow in your own self-pity. Yes, you’re hurting, and I get that, Squirt. I do. But he’s hurting so much worse right now, so you need to get off your sorry ass and do something about it.”

Blaine let his brother’s words sink in for a few minutes as the thread he had been previously wrapping around his fingers broke.

“What do I do? How can I possibly make this up to him?”

He could hear the shrug in Cooper’s shoulders.

“It’s not going to be easy. None of this is going to be easy. Just… Give him some time and space. Let him come around. Understand what he’s going through right now, Blaine. None of this war fair to him, and I know you know that. This situation isn’t going to fix itself over time, and you need to sit down and figure out why you did what you did to begin with. Then you need to sit down and talk to him about it, but you cannot act like you’re the victim of this situation, and don’t even make excuses. Things will either work out in your favor, or he’ll want some more time, or he’ll decide that he can’t do this anymore. If that’s what he wants, as much as it’s going to hurt, don’t try to push him.” Blaine’s throat constricted at the thought of Kurt no longer wanting to be his boyfriend, but he couldn’t really blame him. If he had a choice, he wouldn’t even want to be around himself.

The line went silent again: Blaine considering his options, and Cooper letting what he just said sink in.

A few more moments passed, then, “You two belong together, Blaine. I believe it with everything in me. Everything’s going to be okay. Just give it time and see things through.”

Blaine nodded, then realized his brother couldn’t see him. “Yeah. I… I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t answered.”

Cooper let out a slight laugh and then sobered back up, “I’m always here for you, little bro, no matter how badly you fuck up. But I need to go back inside; Tay’s probably wondering where I went. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah… I. Yeah. I will be. Good night, Coop. And… Thank you.”

“Night, Squirt. Just remember that everything will be okay.”

The line went dead, Cooper hanging up first. Blaine brought his phone down and pressed the “end call” button before flicking back to his contacts. He scrolled down until he reached the “K”’s, his finger touching Kurt’s name. He looked at the picture of them Tina had taken before Kurt went to New York and smiled to himself, though his eyes had filled back up with tears. More than anything, Blaine wanted to text or call the other boy, but he knew what Cooper had said was right – He needed to give Kurt space, and he needed to give himself some space. Both of them needed the time to begin the process of healing, and Blaine didn’t want to make any more mistakes right off the bat.

Things between them weren’t going to be easy for a while, but Blaine wasn’t going to let that stop him from fighting tooth and nail. He wasn’t about to give up when he knew just how worth it Kurt was.

In the end, Blaine knew they would be okay.

All he needed to do was survive the impeding hurricane.


End file.
